Good Morning! Today’s edition is 1,186 words, a 4-minute read.

What’s on tap: 

• Cleveland wants a WNBA team

• Lung cancer survival rates improve in the US

• Pizza Hut launches tomato wine

First-time reader? Sign up here!

Editor’s note: I left out the dryer sheets link in yesterday’s “Extra Credit” section, so I added it today. Sorry about that! -Adam

Big Story

Black Market Artifact Bust

Italian authorities recovered priceless Etruscan artifacts from a burial site in Città della Pieve, central Italy.

• The discovery included urns, sarcophagi, bronze mirrors, and even a perfume bottle with its original scent. The treasures are valued at over $8.5M and date back to the 3rd century B.C.

• Two entrepreneurs accidentally found the burial chambers while excavating their land. They tried to sell the items on the black market but proved to be amateurs. Police tracked them down after they posted pictures of the artifacts online, leading to a thorough investigation using wiretaps, stakeouts, and drones.

• One even posted a selfie with a looted artifact on Facebook, sealing their guilt. Both face charges for theft and trading stolen goods, with possible sentences of up to 10 years.

• The Etruscans thrived 2,500 years ago in central Italy but were gradually assimilated by the Roman Empire. They left behind rich tombs but little written history.

Big Story

WNBA in Cleveland

Cleveland is trying to get a WNBA team back in town.

• Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert is submitting a proposal for a WNBA expansion team. The city previously had a WNBA team, the Rockers, from 1997 to 2003.

• The WNBA is gaining popularity and will expand over the next two years, adding three teams in Golden State, Portland, and Toronto. It plans to have 16 teams by 2028, and multiple cities have thrown their name in the pot. In addition to Cleveland, Kansas City, St. Louis, and Philadelphia also want the final spot.

• However, the W said it’s in no rush to add the 16th team. It will consider many factors during selection, including practice facilities, a committed ownership group, a big potential fan base, and Fortune 500 companies.

Big Story

JAGUAR is now JaGUar

A promo video for a rebrand of British car maker Jaguar has the internet in a frenzy.

• The video doesn’t show any cars. Instead, it features models in wild, colorful outfits walking through an alien-like setting with phrases like "Break Moulds" and "Copy Nothing." (See the video here)

• The internet did not hold back. Tens of thousands of comments blasted Jaguar for the logo redesign, and many said the marketing department should be fired. One user posted, “RIP Jaguar 4 Sep 1922 - 19 Nov 2024.”

• The marketing video is part of Jaguar’s transition to an all-electric lineup, with the new electric GT model debuting Dec. 2 during Miami Art Week.

• Rebranding is a common strategy to refresh a company’s image, but it can backfire if poorly executed. While brands like Instagram and Campbell’s have successfully updated their logos, failures like Tropicana and Radio Shack are cautionary tales.

Quick Stories

U.S. News

• The Los Angeles City Council passed a “sanctuary city” ordinance to protect illegal migrants after Trump said he would declare a national emergency and begin mass deportations. “Sanctuary cities” are typically local areas that refuse to cooperate with federal detention orders. (More)

• A Georgia Judge found Jose Ibarra guilty of murder for killing UGA student Laken Riley while she was running on campus in February. He received a life sentence without the possibility of parole. (More)

• House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) announced a ban on transgender individuals using bathrooms on the House side of the Capitol that doesn’t match their biological gender. The decision follows Rep.-elect Sarah McBride (D-Del.) becoming the first transgender member of Congress. Context: Each representative has a private office bathroom. (More)

World

• President Biden approved sending anti-personnel land mines to Ukraine to help slow Russian advances in the east. The US expects Ukraine to use the mines only in its own territory and avoid areas with civilians. (More)

• Finnish authorities are investigating damage to a data cable under the Baltic Sea. Sweden is also looking into possible sabotage of that cable and another one. Investigators say the damage seems like sabotage, but there’s no proof yet. (More)

• Thousands of UK farmers protested outside Parliament against a new inheritance tax hike in the government's budget. Starting in April 2026, farms worth over £1 million will face a 20% tax when passed on. Farmers warn this will hurt struggling family farms. (More)

Business & Economy

• US stock markets closed mixed on Wednesday (S&P +0.13%, Nasdaq -0.11%, Dow +0.32%). Investors waited for Nvidia’s earnings report, which should set the tone for the rest of the week and potentially the end of the year. (More)

• Comcast announced plans to spin off most of its NBCUniversal cable TV networks, including MSNBC and CNBC, to focus on growth in the streaming era. The company will keep key assets like its studios, sports, and Bravo, which fuel its Peacock streaming service. (More)

• Gautam Adani, the billionaire chair of India's Adani Group, was indicted in a New York federal court for his alleged role in a multi-billion-dollar fraud scheme. Adani and other defendants are accused of paying over $250 million in bribes to Indian government officials to secure solar energy contracts. (More)

Sports & Entertainment

• The Atlanta Brave’s Chris Sale and the Detroit Tigers’ Tarik Skubal earned their first MLB Cy Young Awards. Sale won the National League honor, receiving 26 of 30 first-place votes. In the American League, Skubal won unanimously. (More)

• Three years after the on-set shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, Alec Baldwin’s indie Western Rust premiered on Wednesday. The film was showcased at Poland’s Camerimage Film Festival and received a warm reception. (More)

• Two-time Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning, tight end Antonio Gates, and pass rusher Jared Allen are among the 25 candidates for the 2025 Pro Football Hall of Fame. The committee will vote on 15 finalists before the Super Bowl. (More)

Science, Health, & Tech

• Archeologists from Johns Hopkins University have discovered what may be the oldest alphabetic writing in history. It was etched onto clay cylinders found in a tomb in Syria and is from around 2400 BCE. The writing predates other known alphabetic scripts by about 500 years. (More)

• A cell phone company actually stopped some hackers. T-Mobile spotted suspicious activity during a recent attempt to access customer data and blocked the cybercriminals before they could get further into the network. (More)

• Lung cancer survival rates have improved by 26% in the past five years, according to a new state-by-state report. The report credits biomarker testing, which checks for DNA changes in tumors, as a key factor. (More)

Extra Credit

🍅 Pizza Hut debuts tomato wine.

📷️ National Geographic’s top Pictures of the Year.

☀️ Solar orbiter captures sharpest shots of the sun’s surface yet.

🎙️ Apple ranks the top podcasts of 2024.

👕 What do dryer sheets actually do?